Oh come on…there must be more to this life aside from Christ. How long will it take for this wandering heart to be convinced? I must resolve this matter, less I miss the “life” altogether. No longer do I desire for my joy and happiness to be contingent upon things looked forward to. May my joy come from deliberately losing this life only to find a more abundant life in Christ as I strive to follow Him more and more with each passing day.

So, let me get this right… are you telling me that dying to self is what gives life? When I become nothing, I gain everything? Such questions have me almost spinning in circles, wondering what have I done? How much time have I wasted? After all, there is nothing I hold onto more than this life. How ironic is it that it is the very thing that needs to die. Why do I insist on resuscitating it? Why do I insist on laying my life down on the altar for God and then keep crawling off? Maybe out of will or determination to make it work?